Marriage and such

After my previous announcement I feel like talking a little about marriage.

The thing is, marriage has never been on my bucket list. I can honestly say I’ve never dreamt about my wedding day (like all girls are “supposed” to do) and I’ve never thought about it as something I want or need to happen. That doesn’t mean I don’t want a life partner though. I’ve always hoped I would meet someone and spend the rest of my life with that person, but the actual wedding ritual and having the legal contact that is marriage? Never.
It’s not like I’ve been against it either, I see nothing wrong with it, I just… never cared. *shrug*

And then I met Markus.

Markus was pretty clear from the start that he wanted to get married at some point. “Not right now and probably not for many years to come, but eventually I will want to be able to call someone my wife.
He’s such a hopeless romantic. :P

In the beginning I found it a little silly. We don’t follow any religion that requires marriage and we live in a modern society where just cohabiting is seen as perfectly normal. We also don’t have any assets (money, cars, houses, children etc.) that we want to secure for each other in case one of us dies or if we split up.
But the longer we stayed together the more I felt it would be kinda silly NOT to get married too.
I mean, even if we don’t have any money or cars or anything now we might get in the future. And it would be pretty lame if we would be together for say 20 years and then one of us died and the other wouldn’t get to inherit. In Sweden you can make a cohabitant agreement, but it’s not legally as strong as a marriage.

Besides, it is a nice tradition. I’m not nearly as romantic as Markus (I think Cold-Hearted Cynic is the proper term to describe me) but it would be kinda sweet to throw a party and wear a nice dress and all that. And even if I know that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him it would be fun to make a public announcement out of it. Our parents would definitely appreciate it too.
Like I said, I’ve never been against it – I just haven’t cared. Until now. Now I kinda do care.

And I do love him. More than I thought I could. The weirdest thing (from my point of view) is that I knew from the start that he was nice and funny and all that – but as the years go by and the more I get to know him and get to see what he really is about, the more I realise what an amazing person he is.
Even when he leave his Warhammer stuff scattered all over the living room and always forget to put the milk back in the fridge… ;)

Chocking revelation: Maybe my mum was right all along? Is it just about finding the right person?

Dum dum di dum...

We will not get married any time soon though.
After talking about it we came to the decision that even if we just want a small, simple wedding it would still cost us. And other things are of higher importance right now. We want to buy our own apartment (we’re renting now) or maybe even a small townhouse. We’re also thinking about a car. So we’ll save up for that stuff first. Realistically, I think the wedding is at least 2-3 years in the future.

So don’t expect this to turn into a wedding blog just yet ;)

Comments

  1. February 24, 2012

    Congratulations on your engagement! :) I honestly did enjoy your post. I can totally relate when you said you haven’t really thought of being married in specific ways (like the theme of the wedding or the wedding gown style) but now here you are, about to be married! I just think it’s awesome that it seemed to happen so naturally for you, that everything happened at just the right pace, the right time and the right person. :yay:

  2. February 24, 2012

    Congratulations on your engagement!! :D I’ve been on both sides of that, and I definitely get how you’re feeling, but as much as I hate to admit it – I think our moms are largely right. Right person, right time. Things have a tendency of changing. ;)

  3. February 24, 2012

    Congratulations! :D What you wrote here sounds exactly like something I could have written. (Especially the part about Warhammer parts, hah! ;) ) I have never been one of those girls who have had their wedding planned out since they were 7, but the thought of getting married has slowly crept up my back the past year. It’s hard to explain the feeling, but perhaps you know it? That you just feel like this is the person you want to grow old with, that all the little annoyances really don’t matter, that you would do anything for that person, that being married or not isn’t important because you’ve found the right person… but that it would sort of be fun to throw a party to say GO US! …or something like that. Again, it’s hard to explain ;) P.S. this smiley is so cute and it’s totally appropriate here: :heart:

  4. February 25, 2012

    I’m in the same boat with William. We both have too much going on: full time jobs (and an additional one for funsies for me!); and we are both full time students; not to mention that we both have multiple hobbies we want to pursue. We love each-other, but we have no real interest in getting married in the near future, and even when we have the wedding we have pretty much agreed we don’t want to sign the legal document. Neither one of us have particularly fond thoughts about marriage.

    Oh. And we hate children. (Well not hate-hate them, but we aren’t interested, watch us accidentally have 4 because I was a terrible child and karma is an evil-evil mistress. :x )

  5. February 26, 2012

    Congratulations on getting engaged!

    Like you, I never really put much emphasis in marriage, it’s not something that I feel like I absolutely need to do. I do, however, want to buy my own place and pay off my car which you and Markus seem to be planning to do. Those things for me were more important, which is kind of funny if you think about it. I’m sure when I meet that person who I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with, my priorities might change and marriage will be on the table, you just never know.

  6. March 10, 2012

    I just read your post about the engagement and just read this as well. Firstly, congratulations to you both. <3 I am really happy for both of you! :) I also really admire your thinking about marriage, Karin. It was really honest and true, and even though we don't share exactly the same views, I agree with your point of view. I am not extremely religious, but I'm a Catholic, and probably a bit like Markus, I'm a hopeless romantic too. xD I like the idea of getting married but I don't feel like I really need to.

    Like you said though, I think making it a public thing and something the rest of the family can be a part of is probably the best thing about a wedding even if you aren’t a hopeless romantic. :) I’m sure my mum would want her only daughter to have a wonderful wedding she can be proud of… so I guess there’s no disappointing her, then. :P